My name is mommy and I put my fingers in my ears

For a majority of my time with Copper I am 100% happy. There are times though when her cries make me want to put my fingers in my ears. Not just want to put fingers in my ears, but I actually do it. I don't feel good doing it, but it does dull the pain. I try very hard to be understanding and patient and sensitive. She is only 14 months old (Happy 14 Months today!) and she cries when she needs to. I get that, but it doesn't mean that I can always handle it. I need about 9 hours of sleep a night. Without that, I am not the mommy that I want to be. Granted I haven't thrown her against a wall or violently shaken her, but I have shut down when I'm with her and she is having a fit for whatever reason. Today was one of those days. I'm coming down with something and didn't get as much sleep as I needed last night since Copper woke up an hour early today. Apparently we were both suffering from that lost hour, because she was a super turd today. I'm a bit sensitive to noise and Copper can make a lot of noise. I feel bad when I feel that I need a break from her when she feels that she needs me most. But damn, she can be a little shit. When I'm well rested I make the extra effort to make her happy again. When I'm tired, I make smart ass comments, don't make the extra effort, and long for a few minutes/days to myself. Then as soon as she's happy again I feel guilty for wanting to check out. When I look at her sleeping in the monitor before I go to bed, I can't wait to see her in the morning and spend my day with her. I once heard this story of a woman who related parenting to being on a diet. She said that every day she starts out with the best of intentions, but with dieting she can at least make it to noon. Basically this post is just my way of asking for a couple comments about how horrible you've been to your child, and that really I'm a super mom even at my worst moments. And that my child will not be scarred from my lack of compassion when she is clinging to my leg screaming her head off for no reason other than I'm not holding her.